When Did Steve Carell Join The DILF Club?
I’m going to have to choose my words very carefully, because these pics of Steve Carell are giving me a serious case of the vapors and I could come across sounding like a total creep (too late dummy,...
View ArticleBenedict Cumberbatch’s Gorgeousness Was Upstaged At The Hobbit Premiere Last...
Last night, the premiere of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (a word I’ve been pronouncing as ‘smoog’) was held in Hollywood and it brought out lots of handsome older-types in suits, including the...
View ArticleCara Delevingne Makes Out With Michelle Rodriguez While Dressed Like The...
If you’re in Miami and see steam billowing out of one of the hotels, it’s nothing. It’s just Michelle Rodriguez and her piece Cara Delevingne rubbing a layer of skin off of their coochie lips while...
View ArticlePEEN: Brought To You By Kenny Brain From Big Brother Canada
It’s a Good Friday GIFT! In case you haven’t already printed these out and papered your bedroom ceiling with them like I’m doing, here’s Kenny Brain, former HSOTD and the bearded gay ginger model from...
View Article“Well, I’d Say It’s About This Long….While Soft.”
All those English horse races are the same to me (I’m a racist, I know), so I always get Aintree and Ascot mixed up. Aintree is that horse race that brings out Britain’s most genteel and pristine...
View ArticleJoe ManJello And Sofia Vergara Are Doing It
Sofia Vergara and Onion Crunch mogul Nick Loeb broke up about 20 minutes ago and some judgmental whores think that it’s way too soon for her to jump on a new dick part-time, but when the new dick...
View ArticleSuave Pepaw Joe Biden Likes To Go Skinny Dipping
“Listen babe, what you see is what you get – little JB don’t get no shrinkage. It goes in looking like a pool noodle and it stays looking like a pool noodle. Next question? Yeah, you in the red with...
View ArticleBut Where’s Marcy D’Arcy???
I bet David Faustino is sending her a text message that says “Sorry Chicken Legs, invite only!” NO! That’s more of an Al Bundy thing to do. David’s probably just checking to see if “I Told Ya” has hit...
View ArticleEvan Rachel Wood’s Wet Dreams Have Come True, She’s (Allegedly) Doing...
If you follow Evan Rachel Wood’s Twatter, then you probably already know that she’s #creamedfromeveryorifice over Katherine Moennig before. Last year, ERW tweeted this about a dream she had co-starring...
View ArticleHere’s The Newest Trailer For Jurassic World Starring America’s Sweetheart...
So the trailer for Jurassic World was released today, and in case you hadn’t guessed, it’s filled with dinosaurs. It also has a hot mustachioed Chris Pratt. I know, that alone is all you need to know....
View ArticleOh, It’s Just A Topless Danny Trejo In A Dallas Cowboys Santa Hat And Creased...
Since there’s a lot of sweet nectar to guzzle down, a lot of gay apparel to don and a lot of family fights to be had, Allison and I are taking the rest of Jesus’ born day off and we’ll be back tomorrow...
View ArticleScarlett Johansson Has Thoughts On Thor’s Hotness
Before we get to that sexy Australian slice of lamington cake on the right, we need to talk about why in the HELL does Scarlett Johansson look like the low-budget love child of Miley Cyrus and a...
View ArticleAnd Here’s Caitlyn Jenner Giving You Coy Jessica Lange On The Cover Of Vanity...
When we all found out that Bruce Jenner was going to debut “Her” on the cover of Vanity Fair, I thought it was going to be a while before we got to see “Her” giving us chichis and a demure look. But...
View ArticleChris Pratt Says He Couldn’t Get Boners When He Was Chunkier
Don’t worry – there’s a whole mess of Chris Pratt working that buff DILF realness later on. But for now, let us once again enjoy the memory of formerly-fat Chris Pratt’s delicious Orange Crème...
View ArticleZoe Saldana’s Husband Took Her Last Name When They Got Married
For a very long time, whenever I saw a picture of Zoe Saldana and her hot hipster husband, I would just refer to him as “Zoe Saldana’s Hot Hipster Husband” or “Fabio of Williamsburg.” Eventually I...
View ArticlePrince Hot Ginge Was The Sexiest Third Wheel At The “Spectre” Premiere
By the way, I’m typing this on a Braille keyboard, because I’ve had THAT PICTURE of Prince Hot Ginge taped onto my face since Friday. “Did you do something to your hair? You look so much better!” is...
View ArticleSo, Here’s A Topless Idris Elba Giving It To a Tire Doggy-Style
I mean, that’s what’s going on here, right? You can’t tell me that Idris Elba is lifting a tire for exercise? Who does that? Working out is so weird. Since we’re on the subject of nipple-hardening hot...
View ArticleChanning Tatum As Beyonce: Would You Hit It?
If you’re Alex Rodriguez, I’d know you’d hit it like the final pitch at the World Series. This is A-Rod’s dream girl. She’s got the 3 Bs: blonde, buff and butch! On last night’s second season premiere...
View ArticleFabio FINALLY Shares His Thoughts About The Kartrashians
This post is really just an excuse to gently caress your eyeballs with the velvety beauty of the tip moistening Italian Adonis who looks like he was chiseled out of a giant blog of I Can’t Believe It’s...
View ArticleRicky Martin And His New Piece Are Now On My Celebrity Sex Tape Wish List
Who cares if Ricky Martin’s shirt looks like it’s covered in flattened cockroaches and stepped-on bunny poop? Who also cares if Ricky Martin’s face looks like it was reupholstered in pieces cut out...
View Article